Soooo, Election Day is tomorrow, who’s excited?!
As if anyone could ever be excited about this year’s election! (Feels like we’re walking into a death trap damn it!) But it doesn’t matter how we FEEL about this election, we still have to do our part and vote. *rolls eyes* I know, it’s gonna be hard this year, that’s why I wrote this post!
So here’s how to get through Election Day this year in 6 easy steps.
Step #1: Breathe, Stretch, Shake, Let it go …
No seriously, this shit is stressful y’all! Just thinking about Trump becoming President is giving me chills. I swear I’m about to start hyperventilating like omg, omg, omg … LOL
So when you finally do realize the world is actually ending tomorrow, I’m gonna need you to BREATHE, stretch, shake, and let it go, ‘cause there ain’t a damn thang we can do about it baby. Ain’t no sense in stressing this shit, ‘cause ain’t a damn thang we can do! So BREATHE!
Step #2: Put yo thinking cap on …
…. and think long and hard about who you really wanna vote for this year.
Hell, if you’re thinking about NOT voting, I’m gonna need you to think again buddy! Getcho’ ass to your poll site tomorrow and vote (for Hillary of course) ‘cause it ain’t no way in hell you about to let yo laziness let this mofo win this thang!
Remember, no vote is a vote for Trump (the chump,) and don’t nobody (in they right mind) want that man as they President!
So quit playing and get yo ass on that line damn it! LOL
Step #3: Make sure your phone (and portable charger) are charged!
(This probably should have been step one for some of you, but still. LOL)
The last thing we need is for yo ass to get bored while waiting, and then use that as an excuse to go home!
You better charge yo phone and play candy crush while you wait! Hell, take a selfie every time you move 5 steps in line, I don’t care, but don’t you DARE step off that line!
This election is probably more serious than when Obama was running for President, and that was serious!
Step #4: Bring snacks, and lots of distractions.
So you can’t use the “but I was hungry” excuse, and so you don’t have to think about what’s REALLY happening! I mean, Trump is REALLY freaking close to becoming the President of the United States of America, what the fudge!?
Here’s a tip: Chew extra loud so you don’t have to hear the suicidal thoughts in your head!
And if that still doesn’t help, get on every social media platform you’ve got and just start talking to random folks about how their day is going.
What ever you do, just don’t think about Trump becoming President!
(If all the above fails, please refer back to step one.)
Step #5: Vote quickly and quietly.
When it’s your turn to vote, make sure you know exactly who you’re voting for, and read that ballot like your life depends on it, because quite frankly, IT FREAKING DOES!
Don’t start wondering “What Would Jesus Do” all of a sudden, because that shit ain’t about to help you right now! Just stick to what you know, bubble in the right circle, as painful as it might be (*cough* the one next to Hillary’s name *cough*) and keep it moving!
Then when you’re done, run! Get the hell outta there and don’t look back.
Step #6: Drink, Smoke, Watch Netflix, Cry, I don’t care … Just don’t turn on the TV!
You do NOT wanna accidentally get caught up in “what’s going on today” or the “news”, as that will somehow convince you that you need to keep watch of what’s going on, and that’s the LAST thing you’ll wanna do if you want to stay sane tomorrow!
So do what you must, but what ever you do, just don’t watch the votes pour in. Trust me, not knowing, will drive you insane, but watching as they count will kill you slowly! Leave the TV off and take yo ass to bed!
When you wake up, you’ll know if the world has ended or not, so just try to enjoy the last few hours you have before everything goes haywire. Got it? Good!
And there you have it! Six easy steps for surviving Election Day this year.
With that said, good freaking luck and may the odds be ever in your favor. LOL
(Got more tips to add? Leave a comment below and let me know!)
P.s – Make sure you share this post with a friend! The buttons are right below. You can share it on Google+ or Facebook, tweet it out to your followers, pin it on Pinterest using one of the photos already in this post, or post it on linkedin / Stumbleupon. (Or you can do it all, I’m not judging ya. LOL)
Thanks for reading!