(Now here come all the freaking “friends” that never check on me, with their lies, about how I do have friends!) Miss me with the bullshit today! It’s my 24th birthday for goodness sake! You ain’t gotta lie to me anymore. And quite frankly, I’m over it and I’m okay with it now.
But a few weeks ago, I wasn’t! And I was literally in tears, frustrated over the fact that I literally have no friends! I’m not talking about the people that I occasionally speak to when our moons line up as one, or the people I always seem to invite to events but never seem to have the time to even respond and say they can’t come after they said they’d let me know.
NO! I’m talking about FRIENDS!
You know, the people that check in with you every now and then just to make sure you’re okay (and you’re not dead). The people that actually care about you, and invite you to events because they miss you and wanna hang out. But most importantly, the people you can talk to when something is wrong and not be judged by, or even when everything is great and you just need someone to share the good news with.
This is why I say I have no FRIENDS! Because I don’t! I don’t have any one that I can consider a TRUE friend! It’s quite sad, but it’s the truth. I haven’t met one person that cares about me, the way I care about them. Sigh …
But that’s not the point! My point today is, I wanted to hang out for my birthday (which is today if I haven’t already said so, lol). I wanted to gather all the people I love being with and just hang out and have fun. That’s when I thought, a hotel party would be cool! We could play board games, and drink our livers away, and I would actually enjoy my birthday this year!
But then I realize, how much this would actually cost me, and thought to myself, is it really worth it? Is it really worth spending a couple of hundred dollars to enjoy my birthday with people that don’t even text me to ask me how I’m doing? With people that don’t even hold a conversation when I try to reach out and catch up? HELL NO it’s not! Not the way my bank account is set up!
Then I decided, well maybe I should just go out for dinner and invite a few people! I’d buy a new outfit, get my nails done, do my hair and have a few drinks. So I hit up a few people to ask if they’d be able to come, and that’s when reality really sank in! Everyone had an issue with something! I took a step back and realized that if the shoe was on the other foot, (is that even a saying, lol), I would never question why someone was holding their birthday celebration in a certain place, I would just show up. I wouldn’t care who was gonna be there, or what we were gonna do, if I could make it, I would!
And on that note, I decided not to bother at all! So once again, this year I will not be celebrating my birthday. And I already know I’m not getting anything from anyone, so I’m not looking.
I thought this year would be different, but I guess not!
And you know what? It’s what ever! At this point, I don’t even care anymore! Who the hell needs to celebrate their birthday anyway? Shrugs! (I’ll probably just work the day away, or go to a fashion show for NYFW. There’s not even a good movie out that I wanna see, so I can take myself. UGH!)
So there we have it! I was GOING to celebrate my birthday, but I’m not anymore. (Funny part is, NO ONE I told I’d be inviting out has asked me what’s going on. So I’m gonna take that as a sign that they weren’t really interested in attending anyway.) Cool!
Now I’m done with this rant! I’m gonna go get my daughter from school! (But if you take pity on me and wanna send me a cake, I like ice cream cakes! LOL I’m just saying!)